When I was in my early 20s, I had a very specific plan for my life. It was a well-worn path I thought I had to follow: college, a partner, a house, and then a baby. I had checked off the first three steps by age 25, but then my plan took an unexpected turn—the partner was no longer in the picture.

Watching everyone else around me seemingly follow the “right” path, I couldn’t help but feel hurt and confused. It felt like I was failing at a life I was “supposed” to have. This is where the old saying, “If you want to hear God laugh, tell him your plans,” really hit home. I was so determined to go my own way that I ignored all the signs telling me I was on the wrong path.

The Thief of Joy
I learned a hard lesson about comparison. We’ve all heard the saying, “Comparison is the thief of joy,” and it’s so true. I found myself scrolling through social media, seeing friends with the perfect careers, houses, and families. My life felt inadequate in comparison. I was so focused on what I lacked that I stopped working toward my own potential. I became paralyzed by the fear that I wasn’t enough, that what I was doing wasn’t enough.

After hitting a low point, I realized I had completely lost sight of who I was. I was trying to become the person I thought I needed to be to achieve a goal that wasn’t even mine. But I decided right then and there to say “no more.” My time is too precious to waste on living someone else’s life.

Your Story, Your Path
I realized I had to stop comparing myself to friends, family, and what I saw online. I don’t know the backstory of that person with the seemingly perfect life. I don’t know what mountains they had to climb to reach their current position. My story is different, and so my outcome and process will be, too. It’s a work in progress, and I know I won’t change overnight, but I’m committed to overcoming the urge to compare.

I’m working on my self-worth and reminding myself that I am worthy enough to start new journeys—whether it’s a new job, a small business, a new diet, or even parenthood. I’m learning to “clap for myself” for every step I take, every achievement I make, and every battle I fight—even the ones I lose. Why celebrate losses? Because every loss is a lesson. I made it to the other side and gained valuable experience and a new perspective.

I am no longer afraid to admit that I don’t have it all figured out. I am a work in progress, and I’m okay with that.

“We’re petrified of saying too much or saying it wrong. When the truth is, the only wrong thing you can say is nothing at all.”— Dr. Jackson Avery, Grey’s Anatomy